Relaxed

And I don't mean me! Diesel has been worked pretty hard and is doing great! He has calmed down alot.

My first lesson on him had to be rescheduled due to the rain. And I am very grateful for that. He is showing progress with softening up and has yet to act up...even when pushed. I can't wait to get on him this Sunday.

And in other news...I just bought a trailer. It is a used 20' stock trailer that is in good condition. It is not very tall but Kevin assures me it will be no trouble to cut the top off and add a foot. I can't believe he volunteered for this job. He must love me! My life is blessed.

Ahhhhh....

After spending an hour grooming and loving on Diesel I am feeling nice and relaxed. He is such a neat horse.

After spending 3 days in training, Diesel was relaxed. Hard work is good for the soul. Lol.

New Plan

After researching and researching....and researching some more, I have decided to hold off on the trailer. If only money were no object... I only have a 2 or 3 more years left in my truck. I hate to invest so much in new tires, gooseneck hitch, wiring, and helper springs. A new truck and trailer will cost me ~$45,000. I'd love to find used ones in great condition. This requires patience! With all of the expense of a new house, barn, land, and fences I cannot responsibly buy a trailer now. I say this but it is all relative. I do not believe in debt. The only acceptable debt for me is mortgage and one vehicle and both should have a decent amount put down. There is alot of my dad-the-accountant in me!

The new plan: Get Diesel going good this month with Jennifer and board him there afterwards. That way I do not need a trailer to take lessons on him. I hope to ride regularly and get one or two lessons a month to keep improving. Eventually, I'd like to try competing in something, possibly barrels. We'll see what he is best suited for.

I have to take him places and ride ALOT if he is going to be my next Miss Priss. Of course, there will never be another. I just want to have a trustworthy and finished horse. And he is such a nice horse, very well conformed.

In the meantime, I am up for extra hours at work. They start on Tuesday and go until the summer testing is over, about a month. I will work only mornings and will be in town so I can see my Bub when I am done. Sounds like a plan to me!

I can't wait for my lesson tonight. For now, I better get back to work around the house. My life is blessed.

Good Article

Observations of the Dead Horse Guy
www.omega-farms.com/dhg.html

The article contains suggestions made by a man who runs a large animal burial service. Who better to document how horses lives end and what to do to prevent it?

Misconception

I am very excited about actively riding again. And, of course, I frequent Facebook. Since reporting my recent lesson and plans to send Diesel to the trainer, I've had lots of feedback. Almost everyone has said with disdain, "Why? You don't need lessons. You know how to ride. Train him yourself.". Everyone who has ever ridden a couple of times as a kid is an expert. This banter immediately tells me who has no real understanding of how horses work. And it tells me how few real horse people are in my life. Both realizations make me sad.

The best athletes still have a coach. World record holders still train with others. Why should it be any different with horses? I find that the more years I have horses, the more I don't know. I got my first horse 18 years ago and began before that with lessons that continued for years. But, I have not worked with a trainer in 14 years. I'd say it's about time.

I am looking for someone to critique my riding and see what I don't see. I want to be a better rider. I am not at all athletic. You can't tell me I don't need a coach. Not to mention it is fun. And, I need to get my confidence back. Plus, my Diesel is alot of horse with little experience and alot of potential. I want to do right with him. There are lots of reasons why I should spend the money and do this.

Diesel goes to C/J Performance Horses this evening. I do not feel bad about this decision. I think it is worth every penny.

Busy Times!

My lesson was a blast. I rode the old babysitter...who is 11. That says alot about the place. All horses were in great shape and very well mannered. It was great to ride a perfectly solid horse. We did basics and trotted a barrel pattern.

After obsessing over my options, I have decided to send Diesel off for training. The sooner, the better. And it is time to invest in a horse trailer. So, after a week of research and searching I have made my final decision. I'm ordering a stock trailer from Far West in Hallettsville. It will break the bank but should last a lifetime. That means no tack room but should be no problemo since I will not be going long distance very often, if ever.

The times they are a-changing. I hope to rekindle my riding routine. Wish us luck!

Update

Sadly, my fish, Oscar, continued to go down hill and had to be put down. There is no doubt it was time. School is now over and all fish have been rehomed or temporarily moved due to the construction at school. I now have a flying fish living in my home. It is such a neat creature. Toadie, the toadfish, is living in another room at school and being cared for by a wonderful lady who definitely deserves a treat. I'm thinking pedicure.

The girls are doing great. Priss is happy being a horse without any worries or work. It is time to walk her around the pasture again. My farrier is considering removing her wedge pads next time to transition her back to barefoot. We are a year and a half from her tendon injuries. She trots in for dinner every night.

Becca is very near being locked up for the year. Our drought has allowed her to stay out to pasture for much longer. She is a bit porky right now. Guess that makes us OneChunkyMonkey.

Diesel is a turd. He is impatient and has begun throwing tantrums. Therefore, we have spent all of this week working on that. He is not impressed. Nor am I. Today, he was very good for a bath and sheath cleaning (yuck!).

The biggest news...I am leaving to go to a riding lesson in an hour. It will be my first in about 15 years. I'd say it's time. I am riding the instructors horse and getting a feel for her establishment. I am hoping to send Diesel for training later on. Or get my confidence up enough not to need to. We'll see. Regardless, I am excited about getting out there with other experienced horse people. It's been too long.

My life is blessed.

Perspective

Today did not quite go as planned. There was good news and bad news and a wee bit too much other stress. By the end of the day I was physically and emotionally exhausted. The bad news comes in the form of others trials. It kills me that people I care about are going through such a horrible experience. I cannot imagine what it feels like to lose a parent as a young adult but I do know that losing someone close is devastating. A parent has to be so much more painful.

The good news is my fish is showing improvement. She is swimming today, be it slowly and carefully. I know...you must be thinking "a fish?...silly girl". This is a very old, very smart, very special fish. I hope that she is just feeling off because it is just about egg laying time. We'll see. Oscar watches me teach all day long and always is excited to see me. It's nice to have an easy buddy in my chaotic workplace.

So instead of buying groceries today I came home and clipped all 3 horses and washed and scrubbed legs. And to finish off my evening I walked Prissy around the pasture once. This is our fourth ride back. She is still chomping at the bit (in her halter, haha!) and enjoying the ride. Each ride has taken on such importance. I can't help but think it may be the last one. And instead of worrying I just appreciate it. The feeling is wonderful.

This evening has put my mood back where it needs to be and given me the perspective I need. Appreciate the ones you love. You never know when they will be gone. My prayers go out to the Thwaites. Watching a loved one slip away and making the toughest of decisions requires such strength. My life is blessed.

Lessons from Prissy

My horse is special- as in speeeeshul. She's cranky and hot and she grunts and growls. To a stranger she might appear to be difficult. I like to think of it as character.

After 16 years obsessing over her every want and need I think I know her pretty darn well. The hot-ness is just her loving the ride and wanting to go. NOW. The grunts are in pleasure. The growls only happen when she is not ready to stop. Yet, she does, begrudgingly. Good girl.


Today I rode her around the pasture once again. She rode like a master...in a halter...did I mention she is the greatest horse in the world? Yep. She is dead broke but has get up and go that can't go. She is definitely just a walkable horse because of her physical limitations.

When we returned to the barn she tried to break into a trot. She slowed as I insisted with a slight tug to the lead rope and I walked her around the paddock a few times to reassert our need to be calm. She cooperated with a series of growls, of course. I dismounted and she stood quietly for me to remove her polos and halter.

And that was the end of my control! She ran off with a squeal of joy as I rolled my eyes at her. Today's lesson from the beast: You're only as old as you feel. And she feels 5, not almost 25.

My life is blessed.

Greatest Moments

There are a few moments in my life that I know are milestones in the moment they are happening. Yesterday, I had one unforgettable experience. I wrapped up Prissy's legs, put a halter on her, and rode her around the pasture once. It felt like magic. She is the horse of a lifetime. She carried me around like we do it every day. I did not feel nervous. She felt solid. And I will admit I cried tears of joy the entire time. Why?

It has been 19 months since I've been on her. And I never thought I'd get to do it again. She moved well and did not feel like she was unsteady. I think I can do this again! Never take anything for granted. My life is blessed.

Greening up

The grass is just beginning to green up. Mostly, it is in my yard. So.....Miss Priss is in my yard. My girl gets whatever she wants (mostly :). What she needs is green grass to fatten her up after a long, cold winter. Next winter she will go on Senior feed. She turns 25 in May. That marks 16 years together. She's still a hot potato but now she's a naggish hot potato. More growl but the spunk is just under the surface. I can't wait for the wind to die down just a bit. This week I will wrap up those legs and ride around the yard. I can't wait. My life is blessed.

Peter

Peter is my little friend. He comes hopping at the first sign of horse work. Nothing attracts him faster than the sound of the hose being pulled across the parking lot to Prissy's day pasture. If I don't stop everything and feed him, he'll stomp his feet and act mad...and then chew on the hose. That works every time. Today, I threw out a handful of feed and just hunkered down. The rabbit came within 4 feet of me to eat. He was very wary but is too much of a glutton to run away. I'd be worried if he was "friendly" with anyone else. But, his instinct is intact with everyone else. What a neat experience!

Diesel has been good to me this week. I rode him Saturday for an hour. We walk-trotted up front and in the pasture. He gave me get up and go and slow when I asked for it. We both had a great time. He was solid and confident. The weather could not have been more perfect.

Today I rode for about 40 minutes. I tried my old, small saddle. I forgot how hard it is. It fits him better in his shoulders but I don't like how low the gullet sits. I'll stick to my big-butt-mushy close contact saddle. Today he got a bit pissy while trotting. I'm still not sure where his attitude comes from. He's so moody and lazy. We had a decent, short ride. The sun called it short. I could still use a few more hours of daylight.

I did not feel any anxiety today except for with his stomping head toss. Even that passed quickly. It feels great to be riding again.

My life is blessed.

Sunshine

It's not hard to let the sunshine in. With our first day of bright, warm weather I spent the day outside doing things that got postponed during our lengthy cold snap. (I moved to South Texas for a reason! Not my cup of tea.)

It was unofficially named Pedicure Day. Me first! Then horses and dogs. Afterwards, I worked out in the yard. It was so nice to leave the house. Of course, I didn't ride because Diesel is always a bit tender after a trim, no fault to my wonderful farrier.

I have happy news to report. I have successfully maintained my weight for over a month now. Final stats: size 6, 133 lbs, 54 lb loss. This is my 21 year old size (not quite the same shape...lol). I feel great. I have energy and I sleep through the night. And I LOOK great. Always nice.

Now for the biggest news. The farrier gave me the go ahead to ride Priss. Conditions: warm day, walk on level ground, legs wrapped. He is not a vet but has a lifetime of experience and I trust him. I have video of Prissy running around the pasture I am going to take to the vet. I can't wait to show her off. My girl is back. I will still get Doc's opinion before riding but I am thrilled that I may be able to sit on my girl again. It means so much. Who would have thought she'd live to ride again? My life is blessed.

I'm there.

It is official. There is only one chunk. I have lost 47 lbs. Only 3 to go. I look pretty good as a size 6. This is the me I see in my head, the person I feel I am. And now I am still there when I look in a mirror. It's time to celebrate a little bit. Tonight I am eating AND drinking the good stuff. Tomorrow I am fishing with great friends. After that I will ride Diesel. (And finish Christmas shopping!) Life is good.

Nutcase?

I will be the first to admit that I am overprotective with all of my animals. It comes from a good place, though. I am so attached that it is almost unbearable to lose one. And to see them hurting makes me physically ill. So what do I do that makes me a little bit of a crazy person?

I do not leave my dogs outside while I am gone. There is no fence that will keep them 100% safe. Scruffy can climb anything. If he gets out and heads to the neighbors where there are birds he will be shot and the birds will be lunch. Not good. As a result, my furniture and walls pay a price. Scruff vindictively pisses when he's left alone. He waits until he sees me come home to do it. If I sneak in and he doesn't see me he does not leave a mess. I've been told countless times that dogs do not have the capacity to be vindictive. I disagree. This dog is smart. He is also disturbed. He has major separation issues. And, because he makes messes and does not come when called unless it suits him I cannot take him with me. I miss having dog buddies that go-go. I also get majorly annoyed by the fact that my couch now stinks. I clean and clean and clean. It still has that distinctive odor.

The cats are now held captive in the house, too. Of course, most of the time they are perfectly happy with this. I do let them out during the day sometimes. Takes Blue about 5 minutes to howl to come in. Pumpkin will go exploring but will be at the door at dusk as if she knows how dangerous it is out there.

As for the horses, I rarely take them anywhere because I do not have a decent trailer. Mine has rusted to the point that I consider it dangerous. The frame is good but there are too many sharp edges up high. I put off taking the horses in for their annual as long as I could. Finally, a few weeks ago, my vet actually picked them up in his trailer and took them to the office for a float. Diesel's teeth were awful. I may get a much better result riding now that it is fixed. I feel bad that I let it go so long. The trip to the vet was successful with only a minor scrape on Becca from a little freak out when loaded.

I also have left Diesel out in the big pasture alone since Priss bowed tendons last winter. He is too rough and too playful and he kept pestering her. This means on nights like this where it is cold, wet, and windy he is miserable out without any shelter. I hope to build a shed for him next year. This year the priority is replacing the last section of fence. This will happen in the next month. But, tonight I caved. I let him in with the girls. Priss is in her stall and they all have a ton of hay to keep them occupied. This is a test to see if he can behave enough to let him into the barn in the future. As I type I hear the clang of his feet kicking at the stall. In addition to picking on Prissy, he bullies Becca out of the barn. Of course, everyone bullies Becca out of the barn. She is completely submissive.

Do I take it too far? My "rules" keep me grounded and unable to take off and go for fun. On holidays I have to leave early and get home to tend to my crew. I never get to have a weekend away. But, all these little friends are what makes my life blessed :)

Thankful

The best life lesson I have learned is to be thankful. I am thankful that Diesel lunged perfectly yesterday. I am thankful Miss Priss is comfortable and happy and is still with me. I am thankful for such a kind, loving horse I have in Becca. I am thankful for a peaceful home with dogs and cats to keep me company. My life has always focused around my pets.

This holiday I am thankful for the people in my life. You are not forgotten. I don't say it very often...or at all. My people are really the most important. And Miss Priss :)-

Baby Steps

My fear has been simmering for several years now...5, actually. I love riding but have lost my nerve. This is not good with one rideable horse who has very little training. So far I haven't messed him up too much. I really do need to send him and myself off for training this spring.

In the meantime, I am working on my own chunky monkey-ness. I am officially down 30 pounds this morning. It is fun and exciting and I hope that I am strong enough to maintain the loss. I do feel much better now that I'm eating healthy. This is alot of incentive. And my saddles are much more comfy! Clothes shopping was actually fun last week. I am not completely done losing so I only bought one pair of jeans and one shirt. I will stop losing when I am happy with my shape. I think that will be about 15 pounds more. If only the good parts didn't shrink along with the rest of me :) Oh well.



I've reevaluated my personal relationships recently. Not that there was anything serious. But I am streamlining the not serious ones. With it comes a sense of loss and accomplishment. I'm proud of myself. I only miss the man I wished he was. Again, I hope I am strong enough to maintain. I feel very good about it.

So, yesterday after some strong words were said out loud I rode Diesel. With the frustration I pushed my limits. I rode him out in the big pasture again...all the way around. He was good. He picked his head up and listened for anything to send him into a frenzy...but he didn't. I need this horse to get my exercise. I need this horse for my sanity. Riding out is a big deal for me. It shouldn't be but it is. My life is blessed.

Live to Ride

Tuesday was a good day. I rode Diesel for an hour and a half. Mostly walk, a decent amount of trot, and a smidgeon of canter. Canter did not go so well. However, he was sound!


Shoes and time off have helped. Now I must ride through the laziness. He did a few mean crow hops. I rode it but am not happy about it. I need to beat his butt instead of giving in. I did make him continue for a bit before asking for the stop. But we both know he needed a whoopin. Not good.

On the up side, I have lost 22 pounds and my lard butt fits in the western saddle much better. Still need to lose quite a bit. I didn't pinch the nerve in my hip/thigh until an hour into the ride. Usually it is instantaneous. This means my issues are weight related. Keep on pluggin.

Regardless, riding felt good. The sun was shining and the temps were perfect. My life is blessed.

Murder

The last week we've had at least 18.5 inches of rain. One morning the guage was full so it really was more than that. As a result we have had two mosquito outbreaks. We had 3 days of rest after the really hard downpour while they had to start over. My life has been revolving around murder.

My strategy: malathion twice a day around barn, deet-based aerosol spray for bodies with a gentle repellent for faces. The horses get sprayed down as often as I can. They tell me in no uncertain terms when they need it. Seems to be 2 am when they have a meltdown. They are miserable.

This weekend I am having a mosquito spray system installed. We can't wait. In the meantime, they use a mudbath for relief. And that causes their hair to fall off when it dries. Always something.

My life is blessed.

Same Grind

We are still not ready to ride. It makes me sad that I only have one horse to discuss. I hope it stays that way. The girls are comfortable. There is no riding in the future. I feel like I lost my friends. Our relationship is special but different now that we can't move together. That's what riding is. We move as one. Non-horse people couldn't possibly understand. Horses have always given me the satisfaction that I could never find with another human. And that is as personal and deep as I care to get. This is not me. I deal in facts.

We are soaked after Tropical Storm Hermine dumped a ton of rain. I can prove 7 1/4 inches of rain today but the gauge was full and I suspect that is a very low estimate. The horses are living in slop. Even the stall in the barn is flooded. I pray that Diesel stays sound through the muck. I am ready to get back in the saddle.

I feel good on my diet. I have energy and determination. Losing 12 pounds so far is inspirational. I have a long way to go. Why did I let myself go like this? I can't wait to be thin(ish). I already feel better. It is hard work carrying this weight around. People change when they have to. I reached that point. But I'd kill for a piece of bread....with butter and roasted garlic. And a cheeseburger. Lord, give me strength. My life is blessed.