My World Changed

September 21, 2017

I came home from the hospital with answers. Undiagnosed endometriosis for 20+ years, instant surgical menopause, the shock of losing ovaries I expected to keep, the pain of scraping every organ in my abdominal cavity.  Plus, the hysterectomy I was prepared for.

And I had to face the fact that Becca was taking a downturn after a bulging disc the week before while running in her pasture.  She had been recovering.  The vet was checking on her while I was in surgery.  She had round the clock care from my family.  And then she wouldn't get up.  I knew it was time to let her go.  And my world changed.  I could not even sit down with her at the end.  It was all I could do to walk out to the barn and make the call. I could only stand nearby and tell her it was ok.  The pain would be gone.

She was my go- to riding horse.  She was my safe choice.  She was the kindest horse I've ever known.  True goodness.  And healthy as a horse.  No soundness issues until then.  And now she's gone too soon.  

I've never lost a horse before.  I have more unsound and retired horses than not.  And my Becca is the one I lose? A piece of me is missing.  I can't bring myself to use her stall.  It sits empty with no shavings.  I picked out a tree to plant next to her- a golden raintree. The flowers will rain down on her every fall.  They don't live long but grow fast.  Fitting.  But by the time it fades, Priss's magnolia will take its place.  I have a plan for my beautiful ladies, to honor them.

For now, every day with Priss is a blessing. Winter is hard on her- this is her 31st.  The cold makes her arthritis flare.  But, she looks fantastic.  Once she gets moving her legs loosen up.  She is queen of the new barn, built all for her.  Life is good.

Lesson Log

I am not the most coordinated person.  So, the following are a few things I need to remember:

- Legs forward to stop and use pelvis
- Cue for lope by doing the ballerina move (bring foot straight up toward the mental butt)
- STOP using your hands to turn the horse- she does fine with leg pressure only!
- Use your calf pressure (not heel) to turn but keep body straight
- To back up:  keep my body straight, make sure horse is squared up, ask for reverse with legs    forward and light pressure on mouth, stop after a few steps back and wait- teaching patience
-  Practice figure 8's with leg pressure- gradually make smaller until only pivoting
- Practice lope transitions by squaring up, ask for lope, slide stop, back up, repeat.  Remember: ballerina move while putting opposite toe out.  This transition teaches horse to use back end and collect.
- PRACTICE!

Lessons have been so much fun.  I am really enjoying it.  Non-horsey people keep asking me why I need lessons.  They thought I new how to ride since I have had horses for 20 years.  They just don't get it.  It is an adventure and I want to be better at it.  It is really great to find a teacher who has the skills and talent to communicate it.  Did I mention this is fun! 


   
   

A year in review...

It has been nearly a year since my last post.  So much changes in such a small amount of time.  The last time I wrote of a stifle injury in Diesel.  It healed without any issues.  He has stayed pasture sound since then.  And by pasture sound, I mean he is lazy and spoiled, knee deep in grass (even all winter), and has spurts of mad energy where he runs around like a fool- all in fun.  He runs circles around the tractor as I shred and STAYS SOUND.  Despite this, I have not attempted to ride him since my last post.  I have no grounds for not working him other than he intimidates me.  But, away from pasture-less time at the trainer with daily workouts, he is not "hot".  He lunges like a champ responding to voice cues alone.  He's bored and he needs to be ridden.  He enjoys it.  I have entertained the idea of selling him to someone who can appreciate him.  It is a tough decision. 

On the other hand, Becca is my go-to ride.  I trust her in any situation and her ride feels right.  We rode in the Fair Parade last October.  She acted like she did it every day.  As far as I know, it was her first public event.  Then, in December, we rode in the nighttime lighted parade.  She had ribbons in her tail and lights around her neck.  She did well but the ride in the dark with screaming kids and flashing lights were alot for her to handle.  Toward the end, she began to lose her cool and she did the one thing she never does- she kicked at another horse who crowded her.  Looking back, a nighttime ride with sirens and lights may have been a bit too much, too soon.  She has stayed sound but is uncomfortable loping a circle.  So I don't ask her to.  No problemo.  She has no problems on long trail rides.  I've really been enjoying her.

My dear, sweet Prissy is doing well.  She is pasture sound and often runs in for dinner.  I try to ride her a few times a month bareback in a halter.  We can only walk but it is such a blessing to still have this time with her.  She is definitely my once in a lifetime horse.  Every moment with her is special.

Anabelle, the donkey, is now halter broke, trailers, and lunges.  This summer I plan to get on her.  This is a first for me.  I have never even wanted to break a horse.  But I have her and the rule here is you have to be trained.  This should be fun!  She is most definitely NOT a horse.

With all of these beasts, I still have one more project.  I have been taking lessons with a friend who has cutting horses.  She is very good at teaching- I have learned more in just a few lessons with her than with anyone since my hunter trainer in high school.  If I had known her back then I imagine I would have had real trouble choosing college and not horses.  She has amazing horses and I have fallen for a very well bred mare.  I am relearning cues and body position to suit this horse and discipline and having a blast doing it. I plan to take her home this summer to just ride... to just ride a very well broke animal who performs beautifully.  She is light and responsive and feels solid under me.  It is a great feeling.  So far I have only ridden her on her home property.  I hope my confidence in her holds true everywhere.  And that I can save a load of money to make her mine. 

This all sounds great but the last year has been a tough one.  I have been busy as our local youth rodeo association secretary and my teaching job has been tough.  Tough is an understatement. There are no words for how rough teaching in Texas has become.  The horses are my sanity. Like everyone, I am struggling to juggle work, my increasingly serious relationship with Kevin, daily animal care, property upkeep, and my increasingly numerous rides.  Kevin has been very understanding.  He spends alot of free time fishing while I handle the aforementioned list.  And he is a very talented carpenter and handyman.  I have a fancy new shed to prove it.  Needless to say, my life is blessed.

Barnstorming

I can’t help but rave about Laura Crum’s latest release.  I love this story from the start with Cutter to the 12^th book, Barnstorming.  The story of veterinarian, Gail McCarthy, began with her adventures at the age of 31.  This also happened to be my age when I discovered the series a few years ago.  It was so easy to relate to the characters.  With each book Gail ages and her life evolves.  The story is so engaging that every year I make time to reread each book in the sequence.  I don’t plan on changing this tradition.   

The story is full of excitement, suspense, and, of course, horses.  Laura Crum does a fantastic job of telling a story that moves quickly but has the detail needed to really relate to the characters, human and horse, alike.  The main character, Gail, struggles with decisions about family and career at the same time dealing with life and death situations and a mystery that keeps your on your toes. 

I made a day of this book.  I found a very rare opening in my hectic life and sat on the couch with a drink and snacks and just read the book cover to cover.  The feeling I got as I read the last page was bittersweet.  It was delightful to enjoy the experience but disappointing that it was over.  I could give you a book report and summarize the story but that would just ruin it for you.  Get the book.  Or better yet, order the entire series.  I did and have never regretted it.

The Way it Goes

It's about time for an update. Becca has been a doll. I'm riding her every week and she is doing fantastic. Last weekend, I took her on a 4 mile trail ride down turn rows and across streets and a low water crossing. She took it all in stride and was a pleasure to ride. And then she worked great in the rodeo arena. She is even loading better. This issue came up when she realized that getting in the trailer meant we were going to work. And work is something she hadn't done in alot of years. The point is I have my own RIDING horse and I love her. It's like getting a new horse but better.

Diesel is another story. He had been sound for 2 weeks. The custom shoes where working and the pain from the navicular and bone chips was minimal to none. He was even sound at a lope. So my plan was to ride him and Bec this afternoon. But you know how it goes....

He didn't come up for breakfast. He just stood with one leg cocked. Uh oh. I walk out to him and see no swelling or cuts or bites. As I got close it was painfully obvious something was very wrong with his stifle. So after bute and hydro-ing for awhile the vet arrived. His thought is patellar tendon tear. It is hard without mobile xray or ultrasound. We wait and bute and hydro and see. So, this is the way it goes. Always something. I hope this gets better. Regardless of the fact that Diesel is a incredibly expensive, gorgeous pasture ornament, I still am fond of him and hope he can live happily ever after.

Woohoo!!!

It is so wonderful to see my old lady run all out for dinner. She snorted and bounced and had the most amazing, happy look on her face. It was not unlike my face, yesterday.

Diesel got Tennessee Navicular shoes put on last week. After 6 days, I was able to ride him around at a walk with no pain meds. This is big. I haven't been able to ride for months. I am aware that this is just a few good days but I can only hope I get more opportunities in the future.

Next, I rode Becca. She, too, did great. She even let go when I asked her to. This is fun! I have my lady back. And, in her old age, she has settled nicely. She trusts me and has not been silly at all.

To end my day of fun I went to visit a friend. I rode sweet Annie for 2 1/2 hours. She is steady and obedient and does not get in a hurry to do anything. I love riding her. She's a relaxed version of my dear, Prissy.

I hope this beautiful weather holds out. I could get used to a little riding fun. Spring Break can't get her fast enough.

Becca

Sometimes what you need is right in front of you. I need a horse that I can ride that is mine. So, last weekend, I asked Jenny to test ride Becca. She hollered and screamed and had eyes as big as saucers. And she did just fine. There was no buck in her at all but she was resisting the bit big time. So the next day I rode her at home in her old English bridle. She was much happier with the soft bit. And she did everything I asked, albeit not so pretty.

After my disappointing trip to the vet Tuesday I hauled her back to the arena to blow off some steam. She was great. It felt like the good ole days. I am so excited to have her back. I am going to go slow with her because of her age and the nature of her back injury. And, I pray that she stays sound. She is not totally happy to be out of retirement but it will be good for her health and my sanity.

My life is blessed by amazing beasts.

Bec- before. Maybe we can be NOChunkyMonkies???

Heartbreak

I have ridden all 3 of my horses in the last 2 weeks as well as 3 of a friends. I've had more ride time lately than I have in years and it feels great. Granted, Priss and Diesel are restricted to just a walk. It still feels great. However, in life, heartache is never far behind.

Diesel went to back to Bay City to see if we can get him more relief from the navicular. The farrier that works with the vet watched him walk just a few strides and wanted to see his X-rays. After viewing them, he ordered lateral shots. What we found was completely unexpected. In addition to navicular disease, Diesel suffers from bone chips in both of his coffin joints. It's amazing he has been sound at all. This is completely fixable with a costly surgery. How do you justify that kind of money for a horse who will undoubtably be lame the rest of his life? I can't. We did put him in eggbars with wedge pads to see if it would help the navicular pain. I'll give it two tries and if it is not helping we'll pull the shoes and leave him in the pasture until it is time. It kills me to know our time is limited and that the end will have to be my decision. Diesel is such an amazing horse and I already miss him.

Cow Ponies

...make the best pleasure rides. Many thanks to Richard Meyer for allowing me to ride Annie, Kate, and Angel. I haven't had so much fun in a long time. He even let me pick up Annie and haul her to the arena to play. There is nothing as solid as a horse that knows work. It feels great to ride such confident horses.

Annie

Annie

Angel

Richard, Amanda, and Les lead the way.

Budgeting

My parents always worried because I am a spender; they are not. To teach me a lesson they insisted I save up for my first horse. The hope was that I'd learn the value of a dollar and at the same time lose interest in horses. Horses are unpredictable, dangerous, and expensive. What they didn't consider is how stubborn I am. Much to their dismay, I got a job at 14 years old working at the stable way too many hours a week. How can you stop me from working? My grades stayed up and I was out of trouble, for once. I had to save up for a truck so I could get to my future horse. I had to work for gas money to get to the stable. Two long years later came Miss Priss.

Some things never change. Sixteen years later I still work hard so Miss Priss can have a good life. Consequently, I have a good life, too. I still spend every extra penny on horses. Only now, I have two aging horses, one young lame horse, and a vocal companion donkey. And I have none I can ride hard. Miss Priss is rideable at a walk for short distances on good footing. Becca may be retrainable after a back injury years ago but is not a very good trail horse because of her frightful nature. And Diesel, who was becoming an impressive and talented mount, is permanently lame due to navicular disease. He is not responding to treatment and will return to the vet in January to collaborate with a farrier who specializes in corrective shoeing.

Caring for 4 equines is as much as my teacher salary can afford. I've considered letting my internet and satellite tv lapse to offset extra medical bills associated with aging and injured horses. I'm left with riding only when a friend has a spare horse. I am blessed to have such a generous friend. I've enjoyed a fun parade ride and a long ride around the fields recently. Annie was a perfectly mannered, steady mount at the lighted Christmas parade. Her sister, Kate, took me out for several hours without incident. I'd like to own a good, solid horse like either of these ladies. For now, I'll settle for an occasional borrowed ride. Even I know when I'm over my head financially. I'm trying...and failing... to save for a barn and arena. This year I've struggled to break even financially. It is frustrating. But I know that I am in very good shape considering many people aren't as well off as I am. The cost of caring for horses has tripled in the last few years. Construction supplies are increasingly expensive. And incomes are lower.

I look out in the pasture at my aging and broken herd and know that I've made the right decision for their retirement. I owe it to all of them to support them after their usefulness is over. I think that as the years progress the number of retired horses in my care will only increase. But, I still crave the chance to once again search for my next horse with hopes that it will be as fine of an animal as Prissy has been. For now, call me the Big Pony Spender.

Diagnosis :'(

Last Friday was vet day. I took everything equine in for their annual. My old ladies were perfect and didn't even need to be floated. I am so grateful for that.


Anabelle did pretty darn good, too. Loading her was an experience. I walked her to the trailer and was about to get her in using leverage when she saw my mom behind her and she forcefully
declined. I caught her again and patiently walked her up to the trailer one step at a time. When she was close enough for me to wrap the lead around the trailer, my mom came behind and convinced her going in was easier. She jumped in and we were ready to go. It took no contact with the lunge whip or ugliness from us at all. It is obvious that she has been rushed into the process before and is unsure it is safe. We unloaded at Dr. Motl's and tied her in the pens
while we worked on the girls. I am very impressed with everyone's behavior considering the MAJOR construction going on a few feet away and ambulance sirens blowing by at the most inappropriate time. They all did great. When it was time to load up, dad led Anabelle up to the trailer. As she got close, she sped up and took a running leap in the trailer. She was ready to go home!


Diesel went to see Dr. Volkmer at Bay City Vet Clinic. I really like him. He's an equine specialist
and is very good at his job. Diesel was sound after flexion tests but showed signs of pain with pressure to the hoof. X-rays confirmed a moderate case of navicular. There are several large cysts on the bone. We are attempting to slow down the disease with Adequan injections and treating the pain with bute. Next time he is shod he will get aluminum shoes with a 3 degree wedge. Dr. Volkmer thinks we can keep him somewhat sound for awhile. Interesting fact: Diesel weighs 1,345 lbs. He's a beast!


This news is devastating. I now have 3 lame horses that need special care. Getting another horse is not possible until I am down to just 1. I hope this is many years from now. Once a horse is mine, it is mine forever. It is the only way to ensure their life is good.


The good that came out of all of this is now we know what causes his intermittent pain. We can help him. And he is a very good patient. This month he gets an injection every 4 days, afterwards,
once a month. I'll try a ride this week since I have time off for the holiday. Every moment counts. Appreciate your time with your loved ones, you never know when it is your last ride. My life is blessed.

Driving Me Crazy

The horse life is full of joy and pain and aggravation. I brought Diesel home from 3 months with the trainer. He is ready to go conquer the world. And the first thing he does is become lame. We thought it was long toes. Or, possibly, a bruised sole. Two weeks later, it has not improved. I will be trying out Bay City Equine Clinic next week. Hopefully, we can solve this problem that has presented itself in the past. I still think he's a big cry baby and it's not quite as bad as he makes it out to be. And, I still think something major is going on. I pray it is not navicular.

I have this fancy, new saddle and no horse to ride. How frustrating? I have this amazingly talented horse who I cannot ride. How frustrating? I have a magnificent older beast that I cannot ride because both of her tendons are damaged. How frustrating? I have a kind, sweet dramatice mare with a bobbley head that I should ride, if not for cold weather. How frustrating?

I have 3 unique and special horses, including one that is the horse-of-a-lifetime. I am blessed to spend many joyful years with 3 perfect horses. I am so lucky. Especially, for every extra day I get with Miss Priss. She is the love of my life. Don't tell Kevin! He might not understand.

Progress Report

I've been on Diesel 15 times in the last 4 weeks. If felt like more but how could it have been with me running off to play every weekend? Diesel concluded one month of basic training and one month of barrel training followed by another month of board so I had access to the arena. I'm almost out of hay and definitely out of cash. So, Diesel came home on Sunday. It is nice to have him close but, oh man, do I miss the arena. The cracks are awful and he tripped nonstop at a walk. I'll be hauling him to town at least once a week to really ride.

Now that he is home, I am slowly transitioning him back on grass. And, he is spending time every day either under saddle or tied to the fence. I can't let the hard work go to waste.

My new saddle came in a week ago. It is fabulous. Good tack is so important.

As for my girls, Priss is fat and sassy, as always. Becca was lunged yesterday and was sound in a canter. This is new and exciting. I'll give her until spring and she will go back to work. I hope her back and shoulder has healed fully after 5 years. The donkey, Anabelle, is a trooper. She does not love getting haltered but once it is on, she is golden. Yesterday, she tied, got clipped, brushed, and got hoof conditioner put on. When I was done, she hung out for more lovin'.

I can't wait to keep riding and training. It is so good to be back in business! My life is blessed.

Can't Stop Time

Summer vacation speeds to an end. It was a very exciting one, indeed. My crew grew to include a sweet beast who learns quickly and has the most adorable ears. I kiss them every day. My dog, Scruffy, has learned to go outside with me and not run off. We are up to 3 or 4 minute excursions and he responds when I call him. If you don't know Scruff, this is a huge improvement. I long for a dog that can accompany me outside without fear that he'll run off and get shot for killing chickens. Scruffy has such separation anxiety that I can't even take Gretch out with me. She misses the good ole days, too. Of course, they are wonderful playmates and are completely inseparable. I just miss my farm dog turned house dog. It has only taken 4 years to make this small step toward doggie freedom.

The biggest event of the summer must be my horse related improvements. I sold my junker trailer to be rebuilt and replaced it with a well-used, roomy stock trailer in good condition. We have freedom! Just in time for Diesel to come around. He is doing fantastic with his barrel training. Our rides are becoming easy and he is being exposed to the real world. Last week he went to the local rodeo arena along with about a dozen horses and got to experience a little chaos. He did fantastic. The trainer loves him...and so do I! There is no chance I'll sell him. He is stunning and talented and has personality in spades. He will never replace Miss Priss as my once-in-a-lifetime horse. But he may come close!

Somehow in the last week I went from helping out at the local rodeo to the new CCYRA secretary. I hope to do the job justice and have a little fun. Horses and kids...what could be better?

Monday marks the first school day of the year. Teachers get to go back and hear the same ole rules and guidelines and set up our rooms. This year I have to completely set up my room from scratch since I had to move everything out for construction. Joy. I do look forward to meeting the next set of kids and the excitement of a new year.

This summer has been fun and I am sorry to see it end. But you can't stop time. And who would want to?

Sweet Things

ANABELLE

Anabelle is a wonderful animal. She is willing and kind and uber-friendly! In the month she's been here she has learned to accept my touch anywhere on her body, pick up all four feet, accept a halter, and tentatively lead/tie.

The girls have accepted her into the herd and she lays on the ground right now enjoying the ritual morning nap. Even the neighbor horse came to the fence to share in the siesta.

With comfort came her voice. She squeaks to me every time she sees me. And if I take too long feeding, the braying starts! Occasionally she brays when the neighbor goes to work. Bet they looooooove that!

I never thought I'd be so attached to a pet "horse". She's the best! Everyone should have one. She is the perfect companion to Becca and to me.

DIESEL

In other news, Diesel has had 5 weeks of training with me riding him one day a week instead of the trainer. We have both come a long way. He has learned to give to pressure and improved his stop. He has just this week begun barrel training. He'll continue with the trainer for at least one month. I'm very excited about the next two days. The local Youth Rodeo is Saturday and the trainer is taking a load of horses to the county arena to practice. Diesel gets to go along for a little exposure. We'll see how it goes today and I may get to ride him tomorrow. I expect him to be excitable but not dangerous. However, I do not want to hurt my new confidence.

Our last ride was perfect. I mean PERFECT! We did arena work and then went out down the turn rows. The ride before that was great except for the buck! Silly horse saw the pig sitting still in a mud puddle out of the corner of his eye and blew up. He'd had 4 days off while we were out of town and for a moment felt it. Otherwise, the ride was solid. I rode it just fine and it actually boosted my confidence to know it was no big deal. Go figure.

MISS PRISS

Last night I rode Prissy around the pasture at a walk in a halter with her legs wrapped up in polos for support. It is a precious thing to be able to ride her. One of my biggest regrets is not making more time to ride. We only have so much time with our horses. Don't take it for granted. Especially if you know you have the horse of a lifetime sitting in your pasture.

BECCA

I wonder if I am doing Bec an injustice. She seems happy and is moderately healthy. I manage her insulin resistance with restricted grass and a special feed low in carbs designed specifically for her disorder. Her back and shoulder is sore and is uncomfortable during hard exercise as a result of the injury a few years back. She is pasture sound and I do not mind caring for her forever. My concern is that the pain is actually gone and she has learned how to be lazy. Should I push her and attempt to return her to riding? Exercise would be good for her. I know I should have a vet evaluate her. It should be an equine specialist and there is not one nearby. Or should I have the trainer test ride her? Becca routinely runs around the pasture when left alone with no ill effects. Does the saddle pinch and cause pain or is she manipulating? Will a better saddle pad relieve her discomfort? Bec is 18 years old with very little ride time in the last 5 years. She is rusty at best. However, 6 years ago she was a dream to ride, by far my most talented horse. She comes with separation issues and a lack of confidence from a life of only arena work. I now have a trailer and access to an arena. What to do????

Sweetest Donk Ever!!!!

Anabelle is a joy to have around. She is very guarded in everything she does. She hesitates before drinking water and before allowing me to touch her. But, in just under two weeks she has gone from allowing a tentative face rub to letting me rub all down her back to her hip and under her belly. I still have to go slow. This morning she let me pick up both front feet and move her foot around.

We have a long way to go. I need her to accept a halter and fly spray. And, eventually she needs her hooves trimmed. I'm so proud of how far she has come. The girls tolerate her but are not fond of her. I'm sure time will change that. I am most excited that she squeaks to me when she sees me and follows me around everywhere. Plus, she does not bray and bother the neighbors.

In other news, Diesel is doing well with the trainer. I'm tickled that she likes him so much. But, what is not to like? He's cute and smart and quite the character. Earlier this week she caught him in his run playing with a pool noodle.

On Monday, I spent the day trying out saddles. I ordered a Tod Slone barrel saddle. It will have a patchwork suede seat in a variety of colors, rawhide cantle and horn, silver dots lining all edges, a simple arrow basketweave with floral pattern, and my name on the binder. I could not be more excited. This is gonna be a long 3-5 months of anticipation.

Everyone is excited!

My old lady can still move. She's excited about the newest member of our family. I'm not so sure that she likes it, yet. Making friends takes time.

Even the neighbor horse came over to greet our newcomer.

This is Anabelle. She is incredibly sweet and laid back. For now, she is being treated like the odd man out. I hope this passes quickly. My horses were completely terrified of her when they first saw her. She is patiently grazing and waiting for them to accept her.

This is my new trailer. It is 20' so it is big enough for everyone to travel. It is really nice to have the freedom to haul the horses when I want to. It's been too long.

Progress

Finally got my first lesson on Diesel. To prepare, I rode him in my western trail saddle the day before. This saddle does not work for us. So, I am again saddle shopping. The expenses never end!!!

After having a few days off of training, Diesel was a turd. He was a lookey-loo and never did pay attention to me. Lucky for us, he got a real lesson the morning of my lesson before I rode him in the evening. The trainer worked wonders on him. With the help of a better bit, martingale, and alot of sweat he got the message. Our lesson was short and sweet and VERY successful.

I know better than to put myself (a now timid and out of practice rider) with a green horse. I am very excited that we now have loads of hope, with the help of a professional. We do have a long way to go. This is my evaluation, not the trainer's. But I know she is thinking it, too.

Today, I should be getting a delivery. My trailer is getting delivered with a special surprise. I will have to face disapproval from my family and probably some annoyance from my neighbors. I am getting a 3 year old jenny as a 2-for-1 with the trailer. She, like most donkeys, is very vocal. And she is another mouth to feed. She will be a companion to Becca who must be removed from the grass now that it is growing. I cannot afford to take Priss off of grass for her sake and Bec goes ballistic when alone. Donkeys do fine without grain on good pasture and are very hardy. There is less hoof care and they are great guard-dogs. And, of course, they are adorable :) It is ridiculous that I have to justify myself to my family at this point in my life but it is a fact of my life. It will not be pretty. Right now, I am to the point that I don't think I can win with my family. I'm too old to be rebellious. But I am. It's getting old. Regardless, I have many blessings.

Relaxed

And I don't mean me! Diesel has been worked pretty hard and is doing great! He has calmed down alot.

My first lesson on him had to be rescheduled due to the rain. And I am very grateful for that. He is showing progress with softening up and has yet to act up...even when pushed. I can't wait to get on him this Sunday.

And in other news...I just bought a trailer. It is a used 20' stock trailer that is in good condition. It is not very tall but Kevin assures me it will be no trouble to cut the top off and add a foot. I can't believe he volunteered for this job. He must love me! My life is blessed.

Ahhhhh....

After spending an hour grooming and loving on Diesel I am feeling nice and relaxed. He is such a neat horse.

After spending 3 days in training, Diesel was relaxed. Hard work is good for the soul. Lol.

New Plan

After researching and researching....and researching some more, I have decided to hold off on the trailer. If only money were no object... I only have a 2 or 3 more years left in my truck. I hate to invest so much in new tires, gooseneck hitch, wiring, and helper springs. A new truck and trailer will cost me ~$45,000. I'd love to find used ones in great condition. This requires patience! With all of the expense of a new house, barn, land, and fences I cannot responsibly buy a trailer now. I say this but it is all relative. I do not believe in debt. The only acceptable debt for me is mortgage and one vehicle and both should have a decent amount put down. There is alot of my dad-the-accountant in me!

The new plan: Get Diesel going good this month with Jennifer and board him there afterwards. That way I do not need a trailer to take lessons on him. I hope to ride regularly and get one or two lessons a month to keep improving. Eventually, I'd like to try competing in something, possibly barrels. We'll see what he is best suited for.

I have to take him places and ride ALOT if he is going to be my next Miss Priss. Of course, there will never be another. I just want to have a trustworthy and finished horse. And he is such a nice horse, very well conformed.

In the meantime, I am up for extra hours at work. They start on Tuesday and go until the summer testing is over, about a month. I will work only mornings and will be in town so I can see my Bub when I am done. Sounds like a plan to me!

I can't wait for my lesson tonight. For now, I better get back to work around the house. My life is blessed.

Good Article

Observations of the Dead Horse Guy
www.omega-farms.com/dhg.html

The article contains suggestions made by a man who runs a large animal burial service. Who better to document how horses lives end and what to do to prevent it?

Misconception

I am very excited about actively riding again. And, of course, I frequent Facebook. Since reporting my recent lesson and plans to send Diesel to the trainer, I've had lots of feedback. Almost everyone has said with disdain, "Why? You don't need lessons. You know how to ride. Train him yourself.". Everyone who has ever ridden a couple of times as a kid is an expert. This banter immediately tells me who has no real understanding of how horses work. And it tells me how few real horse people are in my life. Both realizations make me sad.

The best athletes still have a coach. World record holders still train with others. Why should it be any different with horses? I find that the more years I have horses, the more I don't know. I got my first horse 18 years ago and began before that with lessons that continued for years. But, I have not worked with a trainer in 14 years. I'd say it's about time.

I am looking for someone to critique my riding and see what I don't see. I want to be a better rider. I am not at all athletic. You can't tell me I don't need a coach. Not to mention it is fun. And, I need to get my confidence back. Plus, my Diesel is alot of horse with little experience and alot of potential. I want to do right with him. There are lots of reasons why I should spend the money and do this.

Diesel goes to C/J Performance Horses this evening. I do not feel bad about this decision. I think it is worth every penny.

Busy Times!

My lesson was a blast. I rode the old babysitter...who is 11. That says alot about the place. All horses were in great shape and very well mannered. It was great to ride a perfectly solid horse. We did basics and trotted a barrel pattern.

After obsessing over my options, I have decided to send Diesel off for training. The sooner, the better. And it is time to invest in a horse trailer. So, after a week of research and searching I have made my final decision. I'm ordering a stock trailer from Far West in Hallettsville. It will break the bank but should last a lifetime. That means no tack room but should be no problemo since I will not be going long distance very often, if ever.

The times they are a-changing. I hope to rekindle my riding routine. Wish us luck!

Update

Sadly, my fish, Oscar, continued to go down hill and had to be put down. There is no doubt it was time. School is now over and all fish have been rehomed or temporarily moved due to the construction at school. I now have a flying fish living in my home. It is such a neat creature. Toadie, the toadfish, is living in another room at school and being cared for by a wonderful lady who definitely deserves a treat. I'm thinking pedicure.

The girls are doing great. Priss is happy being a horse without any worries or work. It is time to walk her around the pasture again. My farrier is considering removing her wedge pads next time to transition her back to barefoot. We are a year and a half from her tendon injuries. She trots in for dinner every night.

Becca is very near being locked up for the year. Our drought has allowed her to stay out to pasture for much longer. She is a bit porky right now. Guess that makes us OneChunkyMonkey.

Diesel is a turd. He is impatient and has begun throwing tantrums. Therefore, we have spent all of this week working on that. He is not impressed. Nor am I. Today, he was very good for a bath and sheath cleaning (yuck!).

The biggest news...I am leaving to go to a riding lesson in an hour. It will be my first in about 15 years. I'd say it's time. I am riding the instructors horse and getting a feel for her establishment. I am hoping to send Diesel for training later on. Or get my confidence up enough not to need to. We'll see. Regardless, I am excited about getting out there with other experienced horse people. It's been too long.

My life is blessed.

Perspective

Today did not quite go as planned. There was good news and bad news and a wee bit too much other stress. By the end of the day I was physically and emotionally exhausted. The bad news comes in the form of others trials. It kills me that people I care about are going through such a horrible experience. I cannot imagine what it feels like to lose a parent as a young adult but I do know that losing someone close is devastating. A parent has to be so much more painful.

The good news is my fish is showing improvement. She is swimming today, be it slowly and carefully. I know...you must be thinking "a fish?...silly girl". This is a very old, very smart, very special fish. I hope that she is just feeling off because it is just about egg laying time. We'll see. Oscar watches me teach all day long and always is excited to see me. It's nice to have an easy buddy in my chaotic workplace.

So instead of buying groceries today I came home and clipped all 3 horses and washed and scrubbed legs. And to finish off my evening I walked Prissy around the pasture once. This is our fourth ride back. She is still chomping at the bit (in her halter, haha!) and enjoying the ride. Each ride has taken on such importance. I can't help but think it may be the last one. And instead of worrying I just appreciate it. The feeling is wonderful.

This evening has put my mood back where it needs to be and given me the perspective I need. Appreciate the ones you love. You never know when they will be gone. My prayers go out to the Thwaites. Watching a loved one slip away and making the toughest of decisions requires such strength. My life is blessed.

Lessons from Prissy

My horse is special- as in speeeeshul. She's cranky and hot and she grunts and growls. To a stranger she might appear to be difficult. I like to think of it as character.

After 16 years obsessing over her every want and need I think I know her pretty darn well. The hot-ness is just her loving the ride and wanting to go. NOW. The grunts are in pleasure. The growls only happen when she is not ready to stop. Yet, she does, begrudgingly. Good girl.


Today I rode her around the pasture once again. She rode like a master...in a halter...did I mention she is the greatest horse in the world? Yep. She is dead broke but has get up and go that can't go. She is definitely just a walkable horse because of her physical limitations.

When we returned to the barn she tried to break into a trot. She slowed as I insisted with a slight tug to the lead rope and I walked her around the paddock a few times to reassert our need to be calm. She cooperated with a series of growls, of course. I dismounted and she stood quietly for me to remove her polos and halter.

And that was the end of my control! She ran off with a squeal of joy as I rolled my eyes at her. Today's lesson from the beast: You're only as old as you feel. And she feels 5, not almost 25.

My life is blessed.

Greatest Moments

There are a few moments in my life that I know are milestones in the moment they are happening. Yesterday, I had one unforgettable experience. I wrapped up Prissy's legs, put a halter on her, and rode her around the pasture once. It felt like magic. She is the horse of a lifetime. She carried me around like we do it every day. I did not feel nervous. She felt solid. And I will admit I cried tears of joy the entire time. Why?

It has been 19 months since I've been on her. And I never thought I'd get to do it again. She moved well and did not feel like she was unsteady. I think I can do this again! Never take anything for granted. My life is blessed.

Greening up

The grass is just beginning to green up. Mostly, it is in my yard. So.....Miss Priss is in my yard. My girl gets whatever she wants (mostly :). What she needs is green grass to fatten her up after a long, cold winter. Next winter she will go on Senior feed. She turns 25 in May. That marks 16 years together. She's still a hot potato but now she's a naggish hot potato. More growl but the spunk is just under the surface. I can't wait for the wind to die down just a bit. This week I will wrap up those legs and ride around the yard. I can't wait. My life is blessed.

Peter

Peter is my little friend. He comes hopping at the first sign of horse work. Nothing attracts him faster than the sound of the hose being pulled across the parking lot to Prissy's day pasture. If I don't stop everything and feed him, he'll stomp his feet and act mad...and then chew on the hose. That works every time. Today, I threw out a handful of feed and just hunkered down. The rabbit came within 4 feet of me to eat. He was very wary but is too much of a glutton to run away. I'd be worried if he was "friendly" with anyone else. But, his instinct is intact with everyone else. What a neat experience!

Diesel has been good to me this week. I rode him Saturday for an hour. We walk-trotted up front and in the pasture. He gave me get up and go and slow when I asked for it. We both had a great time. He was solid and confident. The weather could not have been more perfect.

Today I rode for about 40 minutes. I tried my old, small saddle. I forgot how hard it is. It fits him better in his shoulders but I don't like how low the gullet sits. I'll stick to my big-butt-mushy close contact saddle. Today he got a bit pissy while trotting. I'm still not sure where his attitude comes from. He's so moody and lazy. We had a decent, short ride. The sun called it short. I could still use a few more hours of daylight.

I did not feel any anxiety today except for with his stomping head toss. Even that passed quickly. It feels great to be riding again.

My life is blessed.

Sunshine

It's not hard to let the sunshine in. With our first day of bright, warm weather I spent the day outside doing things that got postponed during our lengthy cold snap. (I moved to South Texas for a reason! Not my cup of tea.)

It was unofficially named Pedicure Day. Me first! Then horses and dogs. Afterwards, I worked out in the yard. It was so nice to leave the house. Of course, I didn't ride because Diesel is always a bit tender after a trim, no fault to my wonderful farrier.

I have happy news to report. I have successfully maintained my weight for over a month now. Final stats: size 6, 133 lbs, 54 lb loss. This is my 21 year old size (not quite the same shape...lol). I feel great. I have energy and I sleep through the night. And I LOOK great. Always nice.

Now for the biggest news. The farrier gave me the go ahead to ride Priss. Conditions: warm day, walk on level ground, legs wrapped. He is not a vet but has a lifetime of experience and I trust him. I have video of Prissy running around the pasture I am going to take to the vet. I can't wait to show her off. My girl is back. I will still get Doc's opinion before riding but I am thrilled that I may be able to sit on my girl again. It means so much. Who would have thought she'd live to ride again? My life is blessed.

I'm there.

It is official. There is only one chunk. I have lost 47 lbs. Only 3 to go. I look pretty good as a size 6. This is the me I see in my head, the person I feel I am. And now I am still there when I look in a mirror. It's time to celebrate a little bit. Tonight I am eating AND drinking the good stuff. Tomorrow I am fishing with great friends. After that I will ride Diesel. (And finish Christmas shopping!) Life is good.

Nutcase?

I will be the first to admit that I am overprotective with all of my animals. It comes from a good place, though. I am so attached that it is almost unbearable to lose one. And to see them hurting makes me physically ill. So what do I do that makes me a little bit of a crazy person?

I do not leave my dogs outside while I am gone. There is no fence that will keep them 100% safe. Scruffy can climb anything. If he gets out and heads to the neighbors where there are birds he will be shot and the birds will be lunch. Not good. As a result, my furniture and walls pay a price. Scruff vindictively pisses when he's left alone. He waits until he sees me come home to do it. If I sneak in and he doesn't see me he does not leave a mess. I've been told countless times that dogs do not have the capacity to be vindictive. I disagree. This dog is smart. He is also disturbed. He has major separation issues. And, because he makes messes and does not come when called unless it suits him I cannot take him with me. I miss having dog buddies that go-go. I also get majorly annoyed by the fact that my couch now stinks. I clean and clean and clean. It still has that distinctive odor.

The cats are now held captive in the house, too. Of course, most of the time they are perfectly happy with this. I do let them out during the day sometimes. Takes Blue about 5 minutes to howl to come in. Pumpkin will go exploring but will be at the door at dusk as if she knows how dangerous it is out there.

As for the horses, I rarely take them anywhere because I do not have a decent trailer. Mine has rusted to the point that I consider it dangerous. The frame is good but there are too many sharp edges up high. I put off taking the horses in for their annual as long as I could. Finally, a few weeks ago, my vet actually picked them up in his trailer and took them to the office for a float. Diesel's teeth were awful. I may get a much better result riding now that it is fixed. I feel bad that I let it go so long. The trip to the vet was successful with only a minor scrape on Becca from a little freak out when loaded.

I also have left Diesel out in the big pasture alone since Priss bowed tendons last winter. He is too rough and too playful and he kept pestering her. This means on nights like this where it is cold, wet, and windy he is miserable out without any shelter. I hope to build a shed for him next year. This year the priority is replacing the last section of fence. This will happen in the next month. But, tonight I caved. I let him in with the girls. Priss is in her stall and they all have a ton of hay to keep them occupied. This is a test to see if he can behave enough to let him into the barn in the future. As I type I hear the clang of his feet kicking at the stall. In addition to picking on Prissy, he bullies Becca out of the barn. Of course, everyone bullies Becca out of the barn. She is completely submissive.

Do I take it too far? My "rules" keep me grounded and unable to take off and go for fun. On holidays I have to leave early and get home to tend to my crew. I never get to have a weekend away. But, all these little friends are what makes my life blessed :)