I came home from the hospital with answers. Undiagnosed endometriosis for 20+ years, instant surgical menopause, the shock of losing ovaries I expected to keep, the pain of scraping every organ in my abdominal cavity. Plus, the hysterectomy I was prepared for.
And I had to face the fact that Becca was taking a downturn after a bulging disc the week before while running in her pasture. She had been recovering. The vet was checking on her while I was in surgery. She had round the clock care from my family. And then she wouldn't get up. I knew it was time to let her go. And my world changed. I could not even sit down with her at the end. It was all I could do to walk out to the barn and make the call. I could only stand nearby and tell her it was ok. The pain would be gone.
She was my go- to riding horse. She was my safe choice. She was the kindest horse I've ever known. True goodness. And healthy as a horse. No soundness issues until then. And now she's gone too soon.
I've never lost a horse before. I have more unsound and retired horses than not. And my Becca is the one I lose? A piece of me is missing. I can't bring myself to use her stall. It sits empty with no shavings. I picked out a tree to plant next to her- a golden raintree. The flowers will rain down on her every fall. They don't live long but grow fast. Fitting. But by the time it fades, Priss's magnolia will take its place. I have a plan for my beautiful ladies, to honor them.
For now, every day with Priss is a blessing. Winter is hard on her- this is her 31st. The cold makes her arthritis flare. But, she looks fantastic. Once she gets moving her legs loosen up. She is queen of the new barn, built all for her. Life is good.
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