What's that noise?

Holy moly! I hear something banging hard and fast. What ever could it be?

I'm such a wuss. How long has it been since I rode last? 23 days!!!!!! And it's like I haven't ridden in decades. Why am I nervous? Why is my heart beating so fast? That fall has made me crazy. I don't think I relaxed completely the entire ride.

Diesel got his first ride in a very long time. I rode for 20 minutes at a walk with only 50 feet of trotting as per the chiropractor's instructions. I had to have my leg on him the entire time, he was so lazy. Stopped the instant I asked every time. Not that it is hard to stop from a crawl.

Every 4-wheeler within a 5 mile radius rode by. That is the only thing his former owners told me he was afraid of. Of course, since here, he has not spooked at them under saddle at all. Today, he was an angel. Very forgiving of my tenseness.

Why am I afraid of Diesel but not the girls? Here's my thoughts:

1). He's big. Really, really big. (Translation: Power. His spook is incredibly scary.)

2). He's young with very little experience.

3). He's headstrong with a really tough mouth. (Translation: If he decides not to do what I ask, there is no stopping him.)

4). He hasn't been ridden regularly since coming to me last July.

5). I don't know him well under saddle.

6). I was riding without a buddy and no one was around. Flashback to evil fall (my arm aches just thinking about it).

But why, why, why be afraid? We have great rides consistently. Even with months in between rides. He's my dream horse. We get done with a ride and I am IN LOVE with him. Every time. Every single time. Tonight was no exception. I want to ride again. This is one fine animal.

I know the only way to get over my fear is to ride. Just ride. I can't wait to have my arena. Next year it will happen. It will just be a fenced area with grass, but it will have clear boundaries. Not just riding out in the open. I can't wait. For now, I will sneak rides whenever I can. Early morning or late evening, of course:) Dang heat.