Defeat.

Today I squeezed in some ride time between working at school and shredding the pasture. So disappointing. Diesel was a fruitcake on the ground. Spooked tied in the barn. Spooked while tying up after a shower to remove crusty sweat. He had that look in his eye. So we lunged. And he bucked and farted and bucked and farted. Never did relax. We did not ride. Seemed like a stupid idea.

Prissy was pissy. And she had rubbed the fly sores on her belly completely raw. Luckily, the girth fits just in between the spots. But, she was still a little witch, unrelated to belly. Grunting, head up, fighting the bit, more grunting. Go, go, go, go. This horse is 22? Yep....you shoulda seen her at 9! Hot potato.

So, me and my other un-named bud shared Prissy. She was instructor, I was the lesson kid. Then, she rode. I wasn't a very good instructor. Damn, I need lessons. Bad. And a decent arena.

For cool-down I jumped on Bec bareback. She's too fat for the saddle. And she is still sore. No riding for Bec. She's not obviously lame, just slightly off under saddle (or under butt :). I love to sit on that mare. We fit. Regardless, no riding.

I feel defeat. Tomorrow we try again. After work, after shredding, after marking trees to keep. Friday we remove the trees with the help of my new friend, Rick Shock, and his Bobcat. I pay Rick to be my friend...it's worth it. Friday I may also get the foundation poured for my barn. We'll see. Saturday we finish the fence. Sunday better be a day of rest. I may survive. Things are coming along.

I sit here with wrinkled brows. Can't stop the disappointment. We all have those days. I like to think that I made the right decision not to ride the boy. I like being able to say we've never had a bad ride. He was not himself. Period. Maybe that's part of the problem. Period. Both mares are coming out of heat. Plus, it was cool this afternoon. Showers close by. He was feeling good after days of horrible heat. Just excuses, though. He ought to be good every day. Today he was good at bucking. As we drove away after cooling down and putting up, Diesel was standing in place bucking in the pasture. Feeling good. Trying to get the mare's attention. Boys.