This brings me to Bitsy. Funny how one little dog can affect my life so much. Bitsy is 17 1/2 years old. I rescued her when I was in Jr. High. I have dirt that is younger than her. She is having psychotic episodes. It may be age, it may be a tumor. At this point, it doesn't matter which. It started as a once a month occurance. Then it was once a week. Now, it is every night.
She used to sleep on the recliner in the living room and only need one potty break around 3 am. Almost never had an accident. I can handle that. The single nightly interuption became routine. But, now she is having major behavioral changes. She paces and pants and digs. Digs under the blanket, digs on the couch, digs behind my pillow. Pacing and panicking. I take her out to potty and she still has accidents. It lasts from about 3 am until morning. And then she crashes. It never occurs during the day. I try to keep her awake during the day so that she can sleep the next night. Today the episode lasted until 8am.
It is getting close to the time for her to go. We may be there already. All I can do is offer comfort to her. This is hard...she doesn't like being held. Last night, she welcomed it. What makes it heart-breaking is that she's a happy dog during the day. She bounces around and does her doggie smile. She can still jump on the bed unaided. She frolicks outside. I feel like we are in the transition. And I hate it. I wish she'd get better or go quietly into the night. Today my thoughts are far from the horses. And the exhaustion is making me emotional. Our loved four-leggers bring such joy to our lives. But, sometimes the sorrow is just as strong.
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